Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a number of words that foreigners just in Korea learn and included in this is normally your message chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this term in their sentences that are english hesitation and use it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This will be probably certainly one of my least words that are favorite Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I happened to be taking lessons that are korean times per week for four hours every day. I became devouring the maximum amount of because I was dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and of course I was living in Korea and I wanted to make life just a bit easier as I could of the language. Prior to taking the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect inside the rules of this language, components of the language that force us to show a respect that we may not need for some body. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t mean they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in sufficient circumstances to learn that a number of, often, males just assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, we learned simple tips to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also discovered just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the primary classes we learned, but, was that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here on out “friend” in parenthesis could be the Korean kind of buddy while a friend that is freestanding end up being the English variation.)

My hubby, boyfriend during the time, and I also chose to have a meet up at the house and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us all over table and I also ended up being the foreigner that is only the spot. Only at that point, I’d known my boyfriend and all of their buddies for a beneficial four to five years as well as in my tongue that is native would phone them my buddies. After the meals ended up being finished together with dishes picked up, a game was thought by me will be fun. Taking just what I’d discovered from course on the best way to phone somebody by title, I said, “So-yung-a, do you want to play a game title?” utilizing the lower kind of the language. I experienced been confidence that is gaining the language and utilizing it whenever i possibly could. There was clearly a gasp that is audible after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two for the more aggressively conservative people in the group told me i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is avove the age of you may be.

Buddy 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she’s.

Me: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me: just What can you mean? I’ve known her for a long time. She is had by me contact number during my phone. She is seen by me a great deal. Our company is buddies and my book says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a friend.

Buddy 2: No, you can’t be buddies than you are because she is older.

Me personally: we don’t determine what you’re saying.

Friend 1: it is possible to simply be buddies with somebody that’s the same age as your self.

Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. You may be all my buddies and you’re all avove the age of i will be.

Buddy 1: We aren’t friends and family.

After that we went along to my space for just a little cry mostly because I became simply told I experienced no buddies as well as considering that the language these people were using to convey their standpoint had been extremely aggressive and I also don’t handle aggressive situations well. Originating from a teaching viewpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a term or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the pupil respond in a good means. Frequently, the learning pupil will end up more timid to utilize the language or make an effort to make use of terms as time goes on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later on that I don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is acutely rude, We remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I also you will need to assist them to realize why it can be taken the wrong manner. My “friends” nevertheless, are not therefore patient with my language purchase. Though I experienced excitingly go through my training books and went through conversations during my class, we had taken some things and terms within the book for provided perhaps not realizing they didn’t mean exactly what it showed up they suggested. Two for the more tolerant people in our group came in to soothe me and explain in nicer terms what everyone else had gotten so upset about.